What to do when cleaning is a dirty word

I hate cleaning. This comes as no surprise to those who know me well.

In fact, I require 48 hours notice if you plan to visit. And I’d really prefer you didn’t come at all…

Years ago my mother dropped by unannounced and I refused to let her in the house.

Then I moved halfway across the country so she’d have to call first to let me know she was flying in for a visit. (Only kidding…I did move but it was for a better job. However, it did mean that she had to call first, which was a huge relief.) You should know that my mother died almost 30 years ago, so I can tell this story and the one below without fear of hurting her feelings.

Anyway, it’s not that I don’t like people–I really do have friends–I just prefer we meet and have fun anywhere but my house. There’s nothing wrong with that, is there?

The seeds of my hatred were planted over 45 years ago. Please understand that I loved my mother and I know she didn’t mean to leave me scarred for life. But the stress and strife that came with having to have everything perfect (and by perfect I mean just that, not merely spotless or pristine ) when company came left me hating everything about company and cleaning.

Even though our home was usually clean and tidy, we had to start weeks in advance for the super cleaning made necessary by the dreaded company visit. I can still remember being hunched down on all fours under the dining table holding a soft toothbrush and trying to remove the last vestiges of dust from in between the carved table legs. This was an impossible task, by the way.

I now refer to company and cleaning as the “c” words–they are too heinous to speak out loud…

I hate everything about “c-ing”–the tools you need to do it, the time it takes away from more fun stuff, the way the dust makes my nose itch, the sound of the vacuum cleaner, and most importantly, the way things immediately get dirty again.

I think you get the idea.

However, if I want to live a “manageable life,” and one not lived in squalor, I have to “man up” and do the work. You see, I’m too frugal to hire help because my husband and I can do all sorts of fun stuff with the money we would spend on help.

With that in mind, here are my tips to make the heinous more bearable:

• Marry someone who will help with the household chores. I got lucky on this one.
• Affirm that you are not your mother and that her standard of clean has no place in your house.
• Live in a small place. That way there’s less to clean.
• Learn to love a “lived-in” look. This was easy for my husband but hard for me.
• Decide what level of clutter you can live with without going crazy. If you get rid of stuff that you don’t love or use, think about how much time you’ll save not “c-ing” and/or dusting it.
• Put on great music when “c-ing.” It makes the task at hand more bearable.
• Start in one room and don’t move on until the room is finished. At least that way you can clearly see what you’ve accomplished.
• Try to “c” up after making a mess. For example, don’t leave dishes unattended or papers/magazines strewn around after you’ve finished reading them. I’m still working on this one.
• Make a game of it by timing yourself when doing a chore and then seeing if you can beat the time the next time. This works well if you are competitive. My record for unloading the dishwasher is 2 minutes 17 seconds.

Of course, I can think of a gazillion more tips, but we’ll save them for another post. If you start with just these, you’ll be doing great.

I’m still very much of a “work-in-progress,” by the way.

But that’s the idea behind having a manageable life–it’s simply making the small changes you need to live a more functional and happier life.

But not a perfect one.

Because the price of maintaining the illusion of  a “perfect life” creates way too much stress and not nearly enough happiness.

Please remember, however, that there are two things that will never change:

1. I still require 48 hours notice before a visit–otherwise you’ll be left standing on the doorstep, and
2. The two “c’s” will always be dirty words to me.

 

Tagged as: choices, cleaning, decluttering, manageable change, manageable steps