Each of us literally chooses, by his way of attending to things, what sort of universe he shall appear to himself to inhabit…William James
So, what does your world look like these days? Are you paying attention to and acting on the stuff that can bring you closer to your definition of a “good life” or are you stuck doing the same things you’ve always done and getting the same unsatisfying results? The latter is Albert Einstein’s definition of insanity, by the way, and I couldn’t agree more.
Choosing to do things differently is hard because it takes you out of your comfort zone. It requires that you make conscious decisions–ones that require serious thought and then effort in the form of action. Make enough changes in a relatively short amount of time and you may find yourself suffering from decision fatigue, (Click here to see a New York Times article on this subject), which can cause you to act rashly or avoid making any decisions at all.
I remember having lunch with a good friend of mine almost 28 years ago. We had, and still have, very different approaches to organizing our lives. Hers is filled with chaos (her words, not mine) and mine is usually filled with relative calm. We were comparing notes about the differences in our lives and she proceeded to grab all the silverware at the table and said, “You see–this is my life.” The silverware she held in her hands was not organized neatly–the knives, forks and spoons were all intertwined, some spoons and knives were caught in the tines of the forks and others were upside down or sideways.
In other words, they were a disorganized mess.
Then she dropped all but one knife, one fork and one spoon. She held them neatly, all were pointed in the same direction. She said, “Now this is your life.”
She was mostly right.
I was exhausted just thinking about trying to live her life. She had to make many more decisions each day because she over-scheduled herself and was always running behind, forcing her to change plans and tactics in mid-stream.
But it worked for her.
Of course, it wreaked havoc on those around her, but she was so effective in spite of all the chaos, that most of us just tried to stay out of her way. I’m sure she couldn’t imagine stepping into into my life, either. Not enough craziness to keep life interesting.
We are good friends to this day, but we have to abide by the three day visit rule.
Otherwise, we can drive each other nuts …
My point is that you have to find what works for you.
Choices matter.
So choose wisely.
{ 2 comments }
Great post, and timely! (for me)
I find constant decision making compelling on one level, but exhausting on another. In my creative life, I’ve always felt that the more variables I have to decide, the more engaged I feel with my work. Spontaneity is important to my process. But the constant decision making and “spontaneity” are driving me crazy!
Procrastination is a great way to set up for the ultimate spontaneity in order to meet a deadline, but it is a constrictive spontaneity. In reality it’s not spontaneity at all, but, rather, a state of desperation and panic! (yikes)
This has been a very helpful and illuminating post. What do I owe you for the session? Just send me a bill.
Glad you liked the post! As always, no charge … but please tell your friends about this blog as I’m trying to grow my readership …
I understand the creative tension you describe … perhaps by “calming down” other areas of your life you can reduce the decision fatigue and conserve energy so you can maintain the spontaneity you need for your work.
Of course, procrastination is a whole other matter… a little of that is fine, a lot of it creates more problems.
Above all, have fun and enjoy the process.
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